An individual consulting client I was working with had a harsh run in with a difficult person who she said “cut her down at the knees and hit her emotionally like a dagger in the chest.”
The question must be asked “Can anyone beat up or put you down more than you, conversely can anyone can lift you up higher than you lift yourself or believe you are worth the lift?”
Everybody beats up self and puts self down that’s how we learn what we need to love. The true edge of growth and healing is to come to love what we judge and condemn as bad in ourselves. (we find it clearly when we see it in others by projection)
Bottom line. If an experience with someone whether spouse, child, coworker or stranger in the check out line at the grocery store, charges up an emotion within us then a simple rule applies: What we repress others will express.
Every time this happens we then have two choices:
1. Blame them and it’s tricky not to blame the expressor but be very sure because it is a certain path that gives your power away.
2. Own it. This means take back the projections that someone has done it to me because I have already been doing it to myself anyway, in some form, and for some time.
as to where it all comes from? ….and this is freeing
All stories come from a lopsided perception of our past
no one hurt us more than they held us
no one rejected us more than they supported us
no one can cut us down more than they helped build up our character
But when we tell a lopsided story from our judgments, and every time we tell it we get more stuck in the rightness of the story, we will manifest what we judge and either a. become it in our selves, b. attract it in relationship or c. bred it in our children.
All this is natures way or putting it in our face until we learn to love it and see the balance in truth. Love is the synthesis of all emotion (lopsided perceptions) At the moment of balance, the heart pops with unconditional love.
It is how nature operates and would wish us to live and so for the brief moments in a life that we are tuned into our true nature it is very beautiful indeed.